Major Key Alert

So you wanna learn the keys to success to college? Well you have come to the wrong place because I don't know what I'm doing either, but I hope I can shed some light on the very few things I have mastered while in college.


Key #1

Try your best not to be broke.  I can't stress this enough.  College is not the place for you if you are not making six figures right out of high school.  College is a very expensive place to attend.  Everywhere you go, there are bills waiting to attack you.  Tuition, parking permits, Panda Express, the Bookstore are all doing their best to take your money.  The worst culprit of them all are access codes.  So you're telling me in order to do homework and receive credit for my work I have to purchase a $100 access code?  It cost $100 to do homework that your professor spent no time teaching you?? You don't understand the homework?  Well it looks like you better buy Chegg. Everyday you wake up and check your bank account and see that college took more money out of your account.  College is always putting in the work even when your sleeping!  So if your attending college and you are not a millionaire, you are not alone.  We are all struggling out here.  Be wise with your money and save what you can.


Key #2
Stay above the class average.  This should be an obvious key to success, but let me break it down for you still.  Yes, you might not be the student who never studies and still complains about only getting a 93% on the midterm while the class average was a 51%.  You don't have to be the best, just don't be the worst.  Imagine you and four of your friends are walking at night and a mysterious clown appears behind you guys and start running at you.  It's okay if you're not the fastest, but you better be faster than the slowest.  You don't have to out run the clown.  You only have to out run three of your friends.  So in college if you are above the class average, then you are in good standing because remember......C's get degrees!!
Key #3
This next key does not apply to everyone, but it sure did help me out.  Key #3 is find a smart girl and make her your girlfriend.  I met my girlfriend Gardenia freshman year in our Calculus 1 class.  She is the reason I made it through calculus.  I thought I was good at math until I was thrown into college calculus.  After my first exam I sat myself down and reflected if I wanted to go through all this pain to become an engineer.  After much thought I decided to stick it out and just try harder.  Thankfully I met Gardenia and I began to learn how to properly study.  I was reviewing my notes everyday and going back through all the homework before a test.  Glad to say I made it out of calculus and I am still an engineering student.  Having a really smart group of friends helps a lot too!! Get out there and be social.  Get to know your fellow peers and help each other.  Birds of a feather flock together!!

Overall, college is a fun and exciting time.  I enjoy school and I am thankful for the opportunity to attend college and not have any major financial trouble.  Make the most out of your time now because when you graduate you'll be working 9-5 everyday and only have two weeks of vacation a year.  I wish you all success in everything you do and I hope you learned something here today.  If you didn't learn anything about college, I hope you learned something about me.  If I had to sum college up in one meme it would be this one.